Recipes for Elephant Cannibalism

Take minced Boehner, and mix it into a crust of ground Graham, bake at 350 for 2 solid hours. Serve piping hot, with no warnings about burning. Can't make work for the health insurance industry, that going to need your privatized business, any other way?

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Republican Rule #1 (this is not new): Never Turn On YOUR OWN! Defend, defend, defend, and blame the liberal media or Hollywood! Nice job breaking that rule guys! Phil enjoyed it greatly, I'm sure.

I told you they would turn on themselves first, but Graham and Boehner, never saw that coming!

Now onto important stuff: Back in day, which was back in day, back in the day, the Allman Bros just always seem to have been there, like Old School. So lets kick up some shit, from back in the day:



We are a lucky generation, with the Best GD music ever made!

Again, again, and again

Buying Health Insurance Over State Lines = RED HERRING = A red herring is an idiom referring to a device which intends to divert the audience from the truth or an item of significance. = They want to screw you!

Let's talk Stim:
Distinguished Gentleman Boehner, where are your proposals to make and save jobs, anyway? Why did YOU let it get this bad? You voted 'NO' on everything, remember? That will save the Nation from RECOVERY. You didn't propose a single thing to simulate job growth at all, much less to save any! How and why, once you are doing nothing for you state, do you get the right to criticize the unemployment rate? I welcome a FAIR FIGHT, and I'm sure the President does too. Sneak attacks are for whoosies! Yorkshire Terrier Politics now; yip, yip, yip, yip, yip? Maybe Barack doesn't deserve a Peace Prise, but you also, don't deserve an Oscar for a performance like that, but here's hoping...

Berry gets a Peace Prize, and you can't be happy?

We're number 1 in respect and love of the world again! That was BEFORE the Nobel. And you still don't get it? What is WRONG with you? Why don't you get the fact that your TOUGH LOVE doesn't work, it's just abusive, and does more harm than good. You have to be generous and reward a lot, for hard lines to work. This is just one more example of the failure of the Neocons! Barack did not get this award for NOT BEING BUSH. He got it for being influential, by turning the page. He got it because there is no rioting in the streets, and all parties but one, want to talk it out. And still you and your tea bags don't get it?

Here's a clue for you: There will never ever be a Republican Peace Prize! A prize given by American Conservatives to anyone. Not as long as you feed on a culture of hate and fear. Any such award you give away, will be the laughing stock of the WHOLE WORLD! Go ahead, give one to John Bolton, and see what the international reaction will be? I double dog dare you!

Once it's Playoff Season, I thought you should revisit this rant. Go Angels and Dodgers, neither one can hit shit now, so we know they're all clean! ARod, I'm not so sure of, still?

It's in the can!

I remembers, back in dah day, when I usta write with personality and flare, and even, quite frequently by accident with little humor. That was back in the day, before you crazy people turned me into a raving ranting politico psychopath! It's all your dadgum fault, so don't you go beggin' me for a bail out; I'm your Uncle Randy, not your Uncle Sam! But Uncle Barry is the one to look out for, he'll make you make extra vegan ultra green hippy products in return, with jobs that can't be shipped overseas, and it's hard to slip one past Berry to Sam. He's got a Portuguese Waterdog, you know? You got watch out fer, or you'll be slobbered, clobbered, diddi'ed, and socialized; oh so socialized: And we all know how painful that can be, if not, just ask your insurance company.

Cousin, I like to writ like this, many of you get the wrong idea that I'm a Righter, twitch I taint! Yeh, you might want to turn off dat lyin' breath Fux News, and meet us out here in the middle of the road? Don'tcha worry, taint no traffic on this street no more, it's a place called Main Street! With all these Republican potholes, even the garbage trucks would rather take the dirt, than the road. Taint safe to be out standing in your field, but perfectly fine here in the middle of the road.

I saw a Wall Street Banker here the otter day. He seemed quite puzzled why I didn't owe him a rent check? I explained that I twasn't a rentler, and he fussed and farted, and said; “You sure? I own everything else on your street? Well, me and Uncle Sam, and the Chinese that is. And I don't want no Shaolin kicking my butt, if your behind on your rent? So don't you lie to me!” It seems very odd to me, that a banker can walk the streets freely, but a census worker???

Census workers, got my full permission to listen to Glenn Dreck, and carry arms- not against the government, against the citizens watchin Fux News all day! They got some crazy ideas, there deep in the back woods of Manhattan. Themmins seem to think we're all billionaires, getting taxed without???

Ifn I twer a billionaire, I might be as mad as a tea bagger! Taxes back up to the Clinton days, imagine that? But I taint, so I kinda like a government that's friendly to me for a change. Call me crazy and all, but it kinda helps when someone trying to make jobs here? Maybe if we can get these gasoline prices under control, I can even afford my mornin 1000 calorie mocha java again?

Deedja here about dis guy? Seem his cat been eaten his beans. Green coffee beans they be, and they was far too expensive to waste on a cat, so he starts following the cat around pickin up droppings, and roastin them? Now, I'm cheap but, there's a limit! However, seems these billionaires, are willing to part with $20 a poop? You know, I taint goin to get nothing but pissed off about dis! Dis kinda crap never works for me!? You know, I'm grown, I'm all usta eating shat by the bucket, but I'm not zackly ready tah drink it. What was that, about a fool and his money?

As much as I liked that punched line; some of you might be getting the wrong idea, that I be Ebonising this, in a mocking whitey kind of way. Not so fast, dis be more Cali-country than Ebonics, in case you never notice, thar be more cows in California than dare be people. And with just a little exazeratin'... we all sound like idiots!

Conservative memory is short

So much for elephants being the poster of the party. The conservatives in America can't even remember one year ago. They can't remember President Bush being for the Olympics 2016. They seem to think Obama wanted to make cars? They seem to think HE was responsible for TARP, that bailed out AIG, and the banks, and Fannie & Freddie? So because Rio won the bidding, this is somehow Obama's Armageddon, it's all down hill from here? Were you born YESTERDAY? God, what a bunch of idiots!

Clue #1, they are only Good Will Games!
Clue #2, your in a recession, you spend your way out of recessions!
Clue #3, Olympics are a money pit of infrastructure, that provides jobs for years before the Olympics ever happen. And venues for reuse, over and over.
Clue #4, we got Iran to give a little (on the same trip).
Clue #5, things look better for Cuba.
Clue #6, we're making progress at getting Middle East Peace restarted.

A great victory against Obama?
That's just stupid, it's been a great month for Obama, other than the Olympics!
What we don't understand is why Independents and Democrats are singing God Bless America. And Conservatives are singing God Damn America, just because they lost the last two elections? Are you kidding? I HATE PAYING a belligerent Congressman that doesn't even try to do anything for ME, because he's the minority party! Your going to loose even more that way, idiots!

"No, no, I just mean Obama's America!" Obama's America, is all of America! It's the UNITED States of America. I need to make this perfectly clear, if you Japanese, or Brazilian, or Spanish, this is not about rooting for YOUR home land. It's about American's against America. Dreams of a bloodless coup are totally treason! Your stance against your country and it's recovery is idiotic and deplorable, at best. You love status quo, really? You want to be privatized, and sold to the lowest bidder on EVERYTHING; That will drink vodka out of each other's butts, and randomly kill civilians with illegal exploding bullets? (These are jobs once done (honorably) by the Marines, without any scandals, murder trials, or extra fees and costs) Where health insurance companies that make better profits than God, can cancel you for being stupid enough to get sick in America? And we aren't even talking about the bastards yet, that in a recession, when wages are flat, and jobs are being lost, raise the price of Gasoline $1 a gallon over last year's price, just to have RECORD PROFITS again! That's your beloved Status Quo America! And you blame US for your not being able to WIN a fucking election anymore? YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID! Now look what you made me do, I've gone and said too much of what's on my mind!

And I'm accused of outraging and pissing people off? Are you kidding me? It was your lawlessness that caused all these problems, and you think Obama and ME, are the trouble makers? How did WE sink this economy, when WE weren't in power? I'm ready to throw that brick at your head, because I couldn't do any damage to it, that wasn't already there!

I had promised that after Health Care (MY ISSUE), I would back off. But when you go and party against America, it's true voice, it's fair election. I doubt that I can keep that promise, and not for my own will. Jesus Christ, Fox News has made you stupid! STUPID, you fucking embarrassments to all humanity! If you ever root against America; Rap those stars and stripes so tight around your neck, that you do us all a favor.

Rush Limbaugh makes $37 million dollars a year, from just his radio show, and you think he speaks for you? Glenn Beck, makes about $20 million dollars a year, but he's just the common average man, right? Get a clue! You deserve to stand in a soup kitchen line, I don't! Their outrage over taxes, I understand- but I can't understand, your outrage over your stimulus middle class tax break, and extended unemployment benefits, and extended Cobra, and people trying to make jobs for you and your family? Unlike you, these two got nothing but a stable economy. Are those things YOU should be mad about? Them, I understand! They have a great job ranting about taxes all day. You dumbass poor tea baggers, not so much, once you got these benefits, even if you didn't vote for him. And you can't prove yourself more fucking stupid than that, but next week, watching only Fox News, you will!

Why is it so HARD to remember that GM and Chrysler came to the government with their hands out, begging for bailouts? Obama should have put conditions on it, to keep this from being a pattern that they would repeat, and he made it painful for them, and less likely to happen again. While you screamed; Fail, fail, fail, not even thinking about them being the nation's largest employers- your stupid!

Next, while the Federal Government is expanding spending to pump money into the economy. Your State governments are doing the counter move, of limiting hours, lay offs, etc. shrinking the economy even more? They aren't getting it! Keep people working, foreclosures don't happen, and the tax base doesn't shrink. The more you push people into the spin, the faster the spin is! Must have a long term plan right now, not short term.

You want culture war, I'm going sell Tshirts now;
Fox News is for IDIOTS!
Rush Limbaugh, good handle for a druggy
Glenn Beck, stop crying- it wont make you smart!
Fox News, tell me more lies; I love White Lies!
Hannedy Schmanidy!
O'Riley, against himself again? Ambush that!

Olympian David Letterman playboy?

Ok, this lead off every news broadcast I watched. Old newsroom rule, sex is not enough, what else have you got?
Was he doing the Polanski or something, is his staff filled of 13 year old girls?
Do I have to be
Do I have to be the first
Do I have to be the first to say this?
Why should I care?
This was the LEAD STORY? REALLY? That's stupid!
You go player! There's hope for us all at an advanced age, I guess?
A paycheck and a rub from the boss- ewwwew! What a girl wont do to be in show biz, I guess?

What's next, are you going to shock us by exposing that Jesus was secretly a Jew?
Big mouth extrovert, that didn't marry until his 60's, really Playboy boinking staff! Who'da ever guessed?
I'm
I'm
so
annoyed that you wasted my time on this!!! Go chase an ambulance or something!
Sorry, public message to my friends in the REAL MEDIA- find a real story, and lead off with that, rather than crap from the Gossip Reporter.

Will we be surprised now, when Madrid steals the Olympics, again? Remember last time, the traffic, the hordes, the heat, the gridlock? Oh, that will improve? Clearly Chicago, didn't give this one the old Chicago try, because if there is anything we know about the Olympic committee from Utah, is that they CAN be bought. Isn't that right Mr Romney? You don't get it with Star Power, you get with cash and bribes, and other things less than legal that I'm not going to talk about. I suggest that all Chicagoans boycott Mayonnaise in 2016 for this insult!

Rio? Ok, I'm surprised. Spoilers of a good joke, but it will not be thong before I think of another! I say, let's not the get the cart in front of the horse- cheerio! Long way to go before those street thugs have the games, don't you know?

I can see Playboy Magazine now; The Girls of David Letterman.
-:)

Buying HEALTH over state lines?

The first mantra of a Republican; "No Taxes!"
Second mantra of a Republican; "State's RIGHTS!"
So what wrong with shopping for Health Insurance across state lines?
How about Taxes, and States Rights both getting trampled on, by your bonus plan for Insurance companies?

Here's how that would work.
Everybody in the insurance industry would rush to be headquartered in Arkansas or Texas. You just increased unemployment in your own state (unless you live there)!

Second, all policies would be watered down to the minimum product they can provide, for the CHEAPEST STATE IN THE UNION! Why Texas then? It the worsted for consumer protection- dead last! Taxas, last in Insured to begin with. And those that are insured, are paying the highest rates in the Union, for the worsted coverage. Everybody is under-insured in Texas!

Third, if you think fraud and complaint resolution are a problem now, imagine erasing all State's Licensing Rights, to regulate insurance companies! That what YOU'RE talking about, to just open the market, and shop over state lines!

I understand people's outrage over government control. There are a lot of people, that give them an inch of authority, and they become a RULER! This is human nature at work. It will always effect you, small or large government, government or privatized. It's who gets those jobs, and how they manage their responsibility. It much harder to remove these problem people when it privatized as when it's government. Why, think about the three extra layer of bureaucracy you have to go through, including the government, for conflict resolution.

Buying over state lines, requires EVERYBODY has to buy in! Meaning they will be paid by the IRS, and you know where the $15,000 a year will come from! Still want this, fools? This is a plan proposed by the Insurance Industry against you and your current state rights, as consumers! There is NO GREATER PRISE THAT THIS for the Insurance Industry, that will make EVERYTHING 1000 times worse! Because you will NOT have any choice in paying it, it will be taken from your paycheck, or bank accounts. NO CHOICE, is not REFORM!

Update:
Now Baucus wants to throw you in jail, for noncompliance. Good going Buttkiss! Montana's you know what to do. It's time to try somebody new, and maybe in touch with reality?