Olympian David Letterman playboy?

Ok, this lead off every news broadcast I watched. Old newsroom rule, sex is not enough, what else have you got?
Was he doing the Polanski or something, is his staff filled of 13 year old girls?
Do I have to be
Do I have to be the first
Do I have to be the first to say this?
Why should I care?
This was the LEAD STORY? REALLY? That's stupid!
You go player! There's hope for us all at an advanced age, I guess?
A paycheck and a rub from the boss- ewwwew! What a girl wont do to be in show biz, I guess?

What's next, are you going to shock us by exposing that Jesus was secretly a Jew?
Big mouth extrovert, that didn't marry until his 60's, really Playboy boinking staff! Who'da ever guessed?
I'm
I'm
so
annoyed that you wasted my time on this!!! Go chase an ambulance or something!
Sorry, public message to my friends in the REAL MEDIA- find a real story, and lead off with that, rather than crap from the Gossip Reporter.

Will we be surprised now, when Madrid steals the Olympics, again? Remember last time, the traffic, the hordes, the heat, the gridlock? Oh, that will improve? Clearly Chicago, didn't give this one the old Chicago try, because if there is anything we know about the Olympic committee from Utah, is that they CAN be bought. Isn't that right Mr Romney? You don't get it with Star Power, you get with cash and bribes, and other things less than legal that I'm not going to talk about. I suggest that all Chicagoans boycott Mayonnaise in 2016 for this insult!

Rio? Ok, I'm surprised. Spoilers of a good joke, but it will not be thong before I think of another! I say, let's not the get the cart in front of the horse- cheerio! Long way to go before those street thugs have the games, don't you know?

I can see Playboy Magazine now; The Girls of David Letterman.
-:)